October 10, 2015

31 Days: Time

{Originally posted on a private blog I had on April 3rd, 2008.  Reposting here because I thought it applied.  I've had this fear of losing family memory for awhile, I suppose!}

The Days Are Fleeting.

Do you think they'll remember, when they've grown and their children are being rocked in their arms, the countless hours spent rocking and singing with the lullabies repeating in the background? Will they remember, somewhere ingrained in their psyche, the feeling of being pressed, nose first into a warm body and loving it? Will they remember having a sweaty head from being pressed into my arm all night? What about the lullaby cd--will that forever be etched into their brain? Will they be able to play it on the piano someday from memory?

Maybe not. I don't remember any such things. I can't think of anytime a smell or a feeling has garnered any sensations of such times. I'll just have to tell them. I'll have to tell them that my favorite part of a baby in summer was when they would sweat and I could smell the outdoors on their head. Their head, their once tiny head. I'll have to tell them that I loved nursing them, holding them, rocking them. Even though it was hard sometimes and that I was tired a lot. I'll have to tell them to cherish their first-born because that baby is the hardest and you don't appreciate the first fully until you have the second. I'll have to tell them that even when times were hard and they didn't feel loved--they were.  They were (and are) loved a lot. More than they'll know until they rock their own child with love.

Nathan will surely remember this lullaby cd--he's listened to it for almost 8 years now! They'll all remember the fun we had--dancing to Christian rock, giggling over knock knock jokes, reading all piled up on the couch. And, if they don't, I'll just have to keep telling them.

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